So after a year of running, I felt it was time to get non-cotton running pants. Yes, I know. I am awful, Morgan was nice enough to shame me for it. Thanks Morgan, I can always count on you to keep it real. But in my defense, I have been told that cotton like all women that cotton is good. It lets important parts of our bodies breathe and it’s not like I am wearing huge sweats (well unless I forgot to wash). But I figure if I wanna be a part of the club, I need to dress the part.
Soooo off to Marshall’s I went in search of the pants that would change my running life, make me 10 times faster, and make me leap tall buildings in a single bound. I scored a $24 pair, seemed nice enough and when I put them on, I felt my life changing before my eyes. Really!
On my next running day, I was so excited to wear them, I even put on a matching top and sprinting down the steps to the gym. Ok, I didn’t actually sprint, I walked but very happily.
The moment I began, I felt something I’ve never felt before. I thought surely the pants are magical and it’s magic is tingling through my body. Well, when the mist in my fantasy cleared, what really was happening was I was experiencing intense itching in my legs. And even more annoying my pants were slowly sliding off of my ass. That damned slick material. I considered the two things that could have went wrong (“did I forgot to bathe today?”, “did I buy the wrong size?’) However, I did bathe and was wearing the right size. I couldn’t explain it but I spent the next 35 minutes scratching and tugging at my lower half and I really didn’t enjoy the experience at all.
What am I missing? Did I do something wrong? Is the world mocking me for taking so long to buy real running pants? Please tell me I am not the only one who has ever had this experience.
